In Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, we explored the powerful influence of our internal dialogue and techniques to transform it. But as we've been working with these practices, many of you have asked about the same puzzling question I've been contemplating:
If I can observe my thoughts, who exactly is doing the observing?
This isn't just philosophical musing. It points to something profound about consciousness that might be the key to lasting freedom from the tyranny of negative thinking.
The Thought Experiment
Try this: Close your eyes for 30 seconds and focus on any thoughts that arise. Don't try to control them, just observe.
Done? Now here's the crucial question: Were you aware of your thoughts? Most people say yes.
But this creates a fascinating paradox. If you are aware of your thoughts, you can't be your thoughts. The observer must be distinct from the observed. Just as your eyes cannot see themselves directly, the part of you that is aware cannot be the content of awareness.
So if your thoughts aren't "you," then who or what are you?
The Observer Self
Throughout history, contemplative traditions have pointed to this "observer self" using different terms:
- Buddhists call it "Buddha-nature" or "witness consciousness"
- Hindu traditions name it "atman" or "the Self" (capital S)
- Some psychological traditions refer to it as "pure awareness" or "metacognition"
- Philosopher Douglas Hofstadter calls it "the strange loop of consciousness"
Whatever name we give it, this capacity to witness our own experience seems to be uniquely human—and potentially the source of our greatest freedom.
The Science of the Observer
This isn't just spiritual talk. Neuroscience has begun exploring the neural correlates of this observer perspective.
Research from Dr. Judson Brewer at Brown University has shown that the default mode network (DMN)—the brain circuitry active when we're lost in thought—becomes less active during mindfulness practice as we shift into observer mode.
Meanwhile, areas associated with attention and present-moment awareness light up. What's most interesting is that these brain changes correlate with reported improvements in well-being and reduced anxiety.
The observer perspective isn't just a philosophical concept—it appears to be a distinct neurological state with tangible benefits.
Why This Matters
Why should we care about distinguishing between our thoughts and our observer self? Because it completely transforms our relationship with suffering.
When we fully identify with our thoughts, we're at their mercy. When a negative thought arises, we become that negativity. The thought "I'm a failure" becomes your reality when there's no space between you and the thought.
But from the observer perspective, the same thought becomes just "a thought about failure passing through awareness." You're not the thought; you're the awareness in which the thought appears—like the sky in which clouds pass.
Four Pathways to the Observer
So how do we access this observer self more consistently? Here are four approaches I've found effective:
1. The Direct Question
Throughout your day, periodically ask: "Who or what is aware right now?" Don't try to intellectually answer this. Just pose the question and notice what happens in your awareness.
Many report that the question itself creates an immediate shift into observer mode.
2. The Sense Door Practice
For 5 minutes, focus exclusively on raw sensory input:
- What are you seeing? (just colors and shapes, not labels)
- What are you hearing? (pure sounds, not identified noises)
- What are you feeling? (bodily sensations without stories)
This strips away conceptual thinking and brings you closer to pure awareness.
3. The Thought Noting Technique
When caught in a thought storm:
- Mentally label each thought: "planning," "worrying," "remembering," etc.
- Notice the space between thoughts
- Gradually become more interested in the space than the thoughts
This builds awareness of the "container" rather than the contents.
4. The Mirror Meditation
Sit in front of a mirror and look into your own eyes. Ask: "Who is looking?"
This creates a fascinating recursive loop that can trigger a spontaneous shift in perspective.
The Ultimate Freedom
In his book "Man's Search for Meaning," Viktor Frankl wrote about discovering in Nazi concentration camps that even when everything is taken from you, one freedom remains: "the freedom to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."
I believe this freedom comes precisely from our capacity to access the observer self. When we identify solely with our thoughts, our reactions are automatic. When we recognize ourselves as the awareness in which thoughts appear, we gain the space to choose our response.
The Ongoing Journey
Connecting with the observer self isn't a one-time achievement but a lifelong practice. We'll naturally slip back into identifying with thoughts—that's the mind's default mode after all.
But each time we remember to step back into awareness, the pathway becomes a little more familiar, a little more accessible. Over time, residing in the observer perspective can become our new baseline.
What Comes Next?
This brings us to the end of our three-part journey on internal dialogue, but it opens the door to even deeper questions:
- If the observer is your essential self, what implications does that have for how you live?
- How might your relationships change if you related to others from this spacious awareness?
- Could the observer perspective be a key to both personal and collective transformation?
I'm planning a new series exploring these questions, but in the meantime, I'd love to hear about your experiences with accessing the observer self. Has this perspective shifted something fundamental for you?
As always, I'm grateful for your presence on this exploration.
Looking beyond the weather to recognize the sky, Irfan
